3 THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE MOVING ABROAD
Remember: difficult does not mean impossible.
Before I move on to the topic itself, I will give a quick review of my journey so far. If you are familiar with the story or have heard it too many times, feel free to skip down to the first point.
As I have mentioned in my introduction, I left my small home town in Finland back in 2013 and right away I knew I won’t be going back any time soon. Changing countries became addicting almost like getting tattoos. You become hooked on the thrill of experiencing the unknown and every country after that is an attempt to feel that same rush of excitement.
In 2013, when I was 15 years old, my family and I moved to Saint Petersburg, Russia where I ended up finishing high school in an Anglo-American school. Until then I had spent the previous 15 years of my life making my way through a very traditional Finnish education system and well, life in general. After the three years in Russia I moved back to my hometown for a year before starting university in a small Scottish town called Stirling in 2017. During my gap year I worked full-time at a casino-like club as a croupier and adjusted back to the life I used to know.
Fast forward 4 years, I am now about to start my last semester of my undergraduate degree before finally graduating this upcoming summer. My next move is a big question mark as I continue the search for the next challenge I want to take on. It might be continuing to my masters studies or working full-time and where, you ask? I do not know.
Initially, when I heard my family was moving to a new big city I was extremely excited. But as the moving in date was approaching I started getting more and more nervous. I soon realised just how big of a change that was going to be. It was only after the first few weeks of living in St Petersburg when I realised that the life was not as glamorous and easy as I had imagined it to be. Funnily enough, the same thing happened as I moved to Scotland a couple years later. I soon realised that although I would not change the experience or the learning curve for anything, there are things learned and wished I knew before moving abroad.
1. YOU WILL FEEL LIKE A FOREIGNER
Everyday things will keep reminding you of this, and strangely enough it is not always only about the language.
The conversations, mannerisms and jokes around you will occasionally make you feel like you are the odd one for not understanding or doing things the same ways as others. This is definitely something that I have slowly gotten used to and now make into jokes, but at the beginning it was definitely isolating and made me feel quite lonely at times. Even more so, when you realise you no longer fit in where you used to be and you start to feel like an alien even in your own home country. You can easily start to question why can’t you seem to be able to fit in anywhere and if there is something wrong about the way you behave since other don’t seem to understand you.
What is useful to learn rather quickly is that being different from the people around you is not necessarily a bad thing. Instead that can give you a chance to learn from them and for them to learn from you. And you will find people to surround yourself with who yes might think you’re a bit weird, but regardless will appreciate you and actually embrace the differences. Finally realising that really made a difference in the way that I felt.
From time to time it still gets to me how I feel like the people around me don’t seem to understand me. But unfortunately, it seems to be one of the things that you learn to live with and focusing on the upside of it can help to pick yourself up from feeling so conflicted about it. So it never really went away, but instead it became a thing that I can now appreciate rather than feel bad about!
2. IT IS OKAY TO DOUBT YOUR DECISION
I will let you in on a secret – you will question whether you are doing the right thing or whether staying where you were was in the end the better option. These moments of self-doubt will come in waves and they will most likely not be made any easier by your friends and family. People will make comments about you going back home for too long or staying away for too long. You can never please all the people in your life, and most importantly you should not try to. But you continue to acknowledge their point of view and end up almost feeling guilty about living your life the way you want to. Or worse, questioning your decisions altogether.
The main thing to keep in mind is to decide what you really want, what sacrifices you’re okay with making and not letting that being questioned by other people. This also includes always acknowledging the different sides and opinions, but not letting them hinder your decision making. In the end your friends and family just want you to be happy and they will learn to be okay with whatever you decide!
In my head moving abroad was something I always wanted to do and when it did finally happen I considered myself to be so blessed to have the opportunity to do that. That is why I never really expected to even begin to question that. It was extremely difficult to admit to being unsure about a big life decision like this one, that you once felt so confident about. Only until recently I realised that it is completely understandable to second-guess it and struggling with it is okay. That’s often when you know you’re making a change. Even if it ends up being the “wrong” choice, you didn’t waste your time. Now you know better what to do and not do. You also won’t be the only person to be confused or to doubt a decision that you make in your early twenties. Every single person, regardless of where they live, experience that.
In the end the big and important decisions are never easy, and choosing to be outside your comfort zone for long periods at times is difficult, but as said, for me, it definitely has been 1000% worth it and I would not change my experiences for the world.
3. IT WILL BE THE BEST THING YOU HAVE DONE
Out of all the things you do in life, broadening your horizons and stepping outside of that comfort zone is probably the best thing you can do. I speak a lot about how I want to experience living in as many countries as I can, but almost in the same sentence I mention how difficult and sometimes exhausting that is going to be. The biggest question here then is – why would I go through all that if it is going to be difficult? And the answer is very simple. Because, not many people do it. And the amount of things you learn about the world and yourself as you lowkey torture yourself by doing things your mind has no idea how to handle just because it is all brand new, is just absolutely worth it.
As I’ve said I knew leaving Finland in the first place was an experience of a lifetime and that I was so blessed to get that opportunity. It was difficult and I struggled a lot. But it was only after that first three years that I realised just how much I had gained from that experience. And to be perfectly honest here, the past four years in Scotland have not felt like a one big blessing (as I may make it sound like), but I already know that it has been a huge learning curve for me that I for sure needed. I have learned what I value in the environment I’m in, I’ve actually formed relationships that I would have never expected to have and I actually learned some big life lessons about growing up, confidence and self-development that were completely unexpected. I will be more than happy to elaborate on those if you are interested but that will be a separate post on itself!
So there you go! I wanted to keep this one nice, short and sweet since there are loads of other things to my experiences, but thought to highlight the most obvious ones for me. Please let me know if you are interested in reading a part 2 to this (or more on any other specific topics) and I will be more than happy to provide that for you. If you did enjoy this post, please scroll down and give it a quick like so I know what kind of content people are enjoying 🙂
Again, if you made it until the end, thank you so much for reading and I will talk to you soon!
One Comment
Alexander Parkinson
Another great read☺️👏👏👏👏