THERE IS CHANGE IN THE AIR
Go after what you want, not what you can easily have.
I have a strong tendency to overthink and prepare for the worse in many situations. In my mind this allows me to prepare to deal with the worst possible outcome, but in reality it just causes me a lot of unnecessary stress and worry. And what’s most frustrating is that what ends up really happening is something completely different to what I thought I was preparing myself for.
In relation to this, today I would like to talk a little about change and the process of dealing with unfamiliar things and situations. During a very short period of time my boyfriend and I decided to buy a flat and move to Edinburgh. Whilst this decision came around we were both in the process of finishing up our final assessments for our degrees and vigorously applying for jobs anywhere where we could find one. While this was all very exciting and “adult-like”, in the middle of all that I started to feel very overwhelmed.
I was confused though. I had moved before, I had dealt with university-related stress whilst moving before, I had applied for jobs and worked before. And on top of all that, I knew it was all coming. I did think that I would get a bit more time to mentally prepare myself before it was actually happening, but situations changed and we had to make moves faster than expected. Long story short, while we were packing our stuff into boxes, I secured myself two part-time jobs as a freelancer in my field.
Oh and at the same time with all that, I was also applying for master’s courses all around the world. So really I was in the position of moving into a city that I was not sure if I was going to stay in any longer than four months, not knowing where I will be going or what I will be doing next autumn, with two amazing jobs that were contracted to happen over the summer.
Essentially this was a situation where I had to deal with multiple things that I had not necessarily prepared myself for and this is when I began to understand that I actually have no idea what is going to happen after the next four months. I could throw a couple of guesses but in my mind all of them seemed (and still do) very uncertain.
Unfortunately, this post is not going to tell you how you can manage change successfully or how to be okay with change. Rather its purpose is to give you comfort in that things do get difficult from time to time but it’s all going to be okay as long as you have the right mentality and are prepared to do a lot of mental work for that.
My friends and I have concluded during the past couple of years that being happy is a lot of work. I don’t mean being happy in an ignorant way, because that is surprisingly easy but also not productive and something that really appeals to me. But being happy and content with the process and being able to enjoy the times of uncertainty and “unpleasantness” is definitely a challenge. My friends and I have all gotten to know that almost too well through moving countries, having to learn new languages or cultures, having to reinvent and rebuild all the relationships in your life in a new environment and not being able to decide whether it’s more appealing to keep going or stay still.
That is still something I really struggle with, deciding when it’s time to stop moving and running after “change” and when to stay put and invest in a certain way of life. If you have not watched the video I made about this, called “FIRST” on YouTube or the Videos section of my portfolio, you definitely should do that right now. It talks about how difficult change is, but also how comforting it can be. The struggle is not so much the change part, cause that is inevitable and a part of life, but how to deal with change when it’s not inevitable and when the decision is fully in your hands. I think my experiences with this is what has made me so indecisive. I sometime struggle making decisions as the couple ones that I did make about moving abroad changed my whole life soo… How will I ever know which decision could be another life changing one?
It all really is about your mentality. The decision making process or dealing with the results of certain changes is not necessarily ever going to get easier, but you can always change the way you deal with those emotions and thoughts that go with it.
Remember, I am not only talking about huge life changing decisions and changes here. It can be as small as whether you decide to go our with a friend or stay in at home, going by bus or walking etc. Those all can lead to life changing changes and many of them would be things you can’t really control. But in the end, you can always control the way you respond or manage them. Let me give an example of what I mean here:
If you are like me and you love staying home, watching tv and being cozy, but one day your friends ask you to go out unexpectedly. You have two options: to stay in or go out with friends. The “change” here would be to choose the unexpected opportunity that might not be your first preferred option or not part of your plan – aka go out with your friends. When you choose change, you can then either manage it by choosing to a) go out and keep thinking about the cozy night you could have been having at home or b) really enjoy the night and socialise and even meet new people. I can guarantee that choosing to enjoy your time and make the most out of that situation is going to make you happier in the end than unnecessarily regretting a decision that had already been made. This is exactly what I mean about you being in control of your thoughts and how big of a difference it can make when managing change or any decision making in general.
I think I will need to write a part 2 for this just to make it all make sense a bit more.
In the end the way you manage change has so much potential to really change your mentality and the way you view life. And the most difficult part is that the change in mindset is usually the part that is outside of your comfort zone. But that’s where the best things end up happening…
Thank you for reading (if you made it to the end) and I will be writing to you soon!
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